The start of the new year can prompt reflections about our life and relationships and what we might do to address our difficulties.

If you have visited this page in the hope of finding a counsellor, I’m sorry, I am not seeing clients at present and don’t expect to in the foreseeable future. However, I have prepared a quick guide for all those looking for the right therapist. I hope you find it helpful:

Finding a counsellor

Counselling is offered free at the point of use by the NHS (you will usually access this via your GP) or at low cost by local charities. Alternatively, you might find a counsellor working in private practice (and for which you will be expected to pay a fee, though some will offer concessionary rates for people in full-time higher education or in receipt of benefits).

Here’s the link to a helpful article on finding a therapist:

https://www.mind.org.uk/…/talk…/how-to-find-a-therapist/

If you are looking for a counsellor working in private practice, I suggest you try one of the following websites:

https://www.bacp.co.uk/search/Therapists

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/counselling

https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/

Draw up a list of the things you’re looking for in a counsellor

Some of the things that are important to you might include:

Where they are based geographically (particularly important if you wish to work face to face

How you would like to meet them – online, in person or on the phone

Gender – would you prefer to meet a man or woman?

Specialism – is it important that the therapist specialises in a particular issue, for example, grief, anxiety, trauma?

Conduct your search and draw up a shortlist

If you seek a counsellor via the NHS or a local charity, it’s unlikely that you’ll be able to choose the therapist you work with. However, if you look for a counsellor working in private practice, you get to choose.

Once you have a shortlist, you should first establish if they have availability.

Also, ask whether the counsellor offers a free telephone or other kind of consultation. This will give you a sense of how the counsellor works, what it feels like being with them – and whether you could work with them.

Try a session

So much of what works in counselling is down to the relationship between counsellor and client – and there’s no way of knowing if it will work until you give it a try. That’s why it’s good to ask a prospective counsellor if they offer an initial session. Some counsellors will offer this for free. Others might charge. Either way, it’s probably worth the investment of time/money in your search for a relationship that could be transformational.

In the initial session, the counsellor is likely to explore what brings you to counselling. They might ask you a bit more about your history, your family relationships and the issue you want to work on. It’s important to remember that you’re in control of your search so you may want to go prepared with some questions, for example, the type of therapy on offer, the counsellor’s training and experience, whether they believe they could work with you.

At the end of the session, it’s a good idea to give yourself some time to reflect on how things felt.

Assess how you feel

That initial session should have given you an idea of how it felt being with the counsellor. Did you feel comfortable and at ease? Did you come away believing you could build a trusting relationship? Did you feel safe? Did you feel understood, accepted and validated? Remember, you’re under no obligation to work with a counsellor with whom you have had an initial session. Make a choice that feels right for you. Trust your instincts. If the counsellor doesn’t feel right, continue with your search.

Good luck!