I’m sometimes asked if I have a bucket list – a list of things I’d like to do before, as the saying goes, I ‘kick the bucket’. It seems that it’s something that someone with an incurable cancer might consider. Typically, such a list might include aspirations to visit...
The recent debate in the Commons about assisted dying has prompted me to imagine my own death, an exercise I have found surprisingly comforting and empowering. Most people with cancer say they have thought about the possibility that they may die from the disease....
The best thing I can do every day to support my mental health involves nothing more arduous than stepping out into my garden. Nature heals, calms, soothes, grounds me and delights me. I didn’t always fully appreciate these gifts, but like many of us, the enforced...
Those of us who live with cancer so often feel we’re under threat. Each time I meet my oncologist to discuss my latest scan, I plunge into a state of ‘fight or flight’ at the terrifying thought that my treatment might not be keeping the cancer at bay. As skilled as he...
There is something I do many times a week that brings me immediate relief from tension and greatly reduces my stress. And I am quite sure it helps my mental health. And yet, whenever I cry outside the privacy of my own home, I seem to cause alarm or embarrassment....
Every fortnight, I share my deepest and most painful thoughts and feelings with a woman I have never met in person. We connect with each other for 50 minutes via Zoom and together, since I was first diagnosed with a recurrent cancer last June, we have explored the...
When my oncologist delivered the verdict that my cancer was incurable though hopefully treatable, my immediate response wasn’t fear or anxiety – it was the most intense loneliness. I felt, with his words, though gently delivered, that I had somehow been cast out from...
Wherever we are in our lives, there is always admin. Even the simplest quotidian tasks will require some organisation, most likely accompanied by paperwork, whether it’s taxing a car, buying a washing machine or paying a bill. And, I have discovered, admin is an...
During Dying Matters Awareness Week, I hope more people feel able to talk about their experience of grief. Talk can help us process painful feelings. Sharing our feelings can be a great way to offer and receive the help and support we need. Grief has figured quite...
The last funeral I attended took all of 45 minutes from start to interment, less than 30 seconds for each year of a wonderful life lived by the deceased. When it comes to death, my culture (white, working class British) doesn’t like to waste its time. “Why do I feel...